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05 December 2011 @ 05:20 pm
Dresden Files 1/1  
For Day 5 of consci_fan_mo and for aeron_lanart who helpfully prompted me when the muses were obdurate with this: Why Harry Dresden doesn't have a fairy/angel on his Christmas tree. Here's my answer. Sorry if it wasn't quite what you were thinking, but I was feeling rather silly.

Dresden Files belongs to Jim Butcher, not me. Un-beta'd.

This is mostly TV Dresden, but with Thomas, Mouse & Toot-toot thrown in (because they could have appeared if it had another series!)


Deck the Halls

I don’t really do Christmas decorations. As Chicago’s only practicing (and advertised) wizard, I feel I should make some nod to the pagan festival of Saturnalia; Yule and the winter solstice are powerful times of year, magically speaking. But I’ve never had a family to speak of, and none at all since Uncle Justin… how did Bob put it? Oh, yeah, since I "self-defensed him to death". Anyways, since Justin died I’ve not had anyone to celebrate with apart from Bob and Mister. And the thrice-cursed ghost of a necromancer and a cat aren’t the best table companions for Christmas dinner.

I do put a few sprigs of holly around the store, the public kind of expect that sort of thing, but other than that I didn’t see much point. Besides, baubles on a tree were just more shiny things that Mister would destroy.

But last year was different. For the first time in a long time I have a family. My half brother Thomas was living with me and Murph came over with her daughter on Christmas Eve to exchange presents. So I put up a tree.

It wasn’t huge, I can’t afford much, but it was a nice spruce and with Thomas’ help I strung it with tinsel and popcorn and hung baubles on just about every branch that could take the weight. We didn’t put lights on though; electric lights were liable to explode around my magic and putting candles on was just asking for disaster.

We finished just in time for Murphy and Murphy Jr.’s arrival, so I figured it would be cute to let Anna put the fairy on the top of the tree. Don’t look at me like that, Thomas picked it at the store, I wanted a traditional angel. Anyways, the fairy was placed on top with all due solemnity, although I had to lift Anna up so she could reach and she kinda ruined the level of seriousness by bursting into giggles because I was tickling her.

We had a fun evening, eating pizza, opening presents, and playing Parcheesi. I gave Murphy and Anna matching necklaces; okay they were protective amulets, but the girls seemed to like them and I felt better for knowing they had them. I just hope Murph doesn’t find out I just referred to her as a girl, she’d probably hurt me.

They gave me a new bathrobe, on condition that I incinerate my old one. I doubt I will, I have trouble letting go of things and me and that robe have a long history together, but I appreciated the gesture.

Eventually, Anna could barely keep her eyes open any more, much as she tried her best to. It was when she unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn by burying her face in Mouse’s fur that Murph finally said it was time to go home and wait for Santa to arrive. That elicited an eyeroll and a ‘Mom, I’m nine, I know there’s no Santa’. So cynical for one so young.

Not long after they left, I started to yawn myself so I headed up to bed, leaving Thomas getting ready to go out to a club and making me feel ancient.

I fell asleep with Mouse curled up beside me while I was reading. I don’t know how long I was asleep for, but something woke me with a start. At first I thought I’d dropped the book, but that was still in my hand. My second instinct was there was an intruder. Mouse hadn’t stirred, and his peaceful snoring coupled with the fact that my wards hadn’t been triggered set me at my ease. I figured Thomas must be home, and muttered a few well chosen words under my breath about inconsiderate house guests and the punishment they should receive.

I settled back into the bed, but sleep wouldn’t return so I got up and headed downstairs to get a glass of water and give Thomas a piece of my mind. As I groggily headed down the stairs, I realised that I could hear a voice, and it wasn’t my brother.

I couldn’t think what Toot-Toot was doing in my place in the middle of the night. We have an arrangement where he and his brownie buddies clean my home, but they usually do that when there’s nobody around; part of the deal is if anyone finds out or I speak about it then they’ll stop. Faeries are weird about stuff like that. But it was the middle of the night, and they knew Thomas was living with me so they wouldn’t normally come in to clean.

Curiosity is a failing of wizards, and I crept quietly downstairs to find out what the little Wyldfae was up to. As I got down, I could see a faint silver glow coming from the store and headed toward it. Drawing closer, I could make out what Toot-Toot was saying.

“You don’t need to be shy, Toot-Toot is General in guard of Za Lord, I’ll show you a good time.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. Toot-Toot had brought a girl back to my place? I couldn’t believe it. I was torn between wanting to high-tail it back to bed and hide under my covers and storming round the corner and demanding an explanation. But damn that curiosity, I just had to see who he was with.

I leaned around a pillar so he wouldn’t see me and peeked out. He was alone, and I was confused. I’d distinctly heard him trying to woo someone, but he was by himself, just hovering near the Christmas tree… And that’s when the penny dropped.

“Doesn’t he realise she’s made of plastic?” Bob whispered near my ear, nearly causing me a coronary, but I didn’t give him the pleasure of knowing that.

“Some people like that sort of thing,” I replied and pulled a face. Deciding I’d had just about all the information I needed on the subject, I turned round and headed back upstairs.

Christmas morning, Thomas was disappointed to find his fairy had vanished from the top of the tree. He blamed Mister, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth.

This year, we’re getting a star.
 
 
 
The other Weird Al: Dresden Files - Be in my skullaeron_lanart on December 5th, 2011 05:27 pm (UTC)
Sorry if it wasn't quite what you were thinking, but I was feeling rather silly. It's perfect, don't be sorry!

Harry's comment to Bob made me LOL and I'm still giggling now. I wonder what Toot-toot will say to Harry about it...
But, I don't want to be a pie,: bobidontlikegravy on December 5th, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
Blimey that was fast, I'd barely finished posting it!!

I'm pleased you enjoyed it hon, thanks again for prodding the muses. :)
The other Weird Al: Dresden Files - Bob - kink gimmeaeron_lanart on December 5th, 2011 05:50 pm (UTC)
I've had LJ open in the background most of the afternoon so I saw it pretty much immediately. I'm a quick reader - especially when I love something.
donutsweeperdonutsweeper on December 5th, 2011 06:03 pm (UTC)
*giggles madly* Oh, poor Toot-Toot!
But, I don't want to be a pie,: bobidontlikegravy on December 12th, 2011 07:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
anniemareanniemare on December 5th, 2011 09:58 pm (UTC)
Tee hee! I love this. Poor Toot-toot is going to be a little disappointed methinks.
But, I don't want to be a pie,: blair wickedidontlikegravy on December 12th, 2011 07:26 pm (UTC)
*nods*

Unless of course he took her away...!! *eg*
crashtestskater: launchpad treecrashtestskater on December 6th, 2011 12:58 am (UTC)
Great story. I've only read the books so I was a little confused about the setting. Still, great story.

I love the comment that some people like plastic. It's so Harry.
But, I don't want to be a pie,idontlikegravy on December 12th, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I needed to set it in the TV show because I wanted to have Murphy's daughter there and I find it easier to write for TV Bob than book Bob. So, sorry if it was a bit confusing but that's why! :)
I'm a walking doodle: Jack/smilemad_jaks on December 13th, 2011 10:34 am (UTC)
“Some people like that sort of thing,”
*snicker*