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11 May 2009 @ 06:04 pm
Browncoats and Scabbards Part 8/?  
Yes, I know it's been forever, sorry, but here is Part 8 of Browncoats, and I promise Part 9 is already in the works! For those unfamiliar, this is part 8 of my Highlander/Firefly series the rest of which can be found here. Since it has been so long, just to remind you, we had left our intrepid Immortals in a bit of a pickle - crash landed on a Rim moon, Duncan is currently dead because Methos shot him, Methos is frantically trying to talk his way out of trouble with Mal Reynolds and Jayne Cobb, and River is watching as Richie revives from his own injuries....

Browncoats and Scabbards 8

Mathew Clifford was about to answer Mal’s question, when suddenly his previously dead companion, Ryan Richards, sat up with a sharp and noisy intake of breath.

Tyen shiao duh!” Mal exclaimed as both he and Jayne turned their weapons toward Richards.

Chiang-bao hoe-tze duh guay! He was dead,” Jayne said before turning to Mal for confirmation, “He was dead, Mal.”

“I know, Jayne. And more importantly, I think he knew,” Mal said, turning his gun back on Clifford. “It was no luck you survived that crash. What in hell are you?”

Jayne continued to point his weapon at Richards as he struggled to his feet, aided by River. Once he realised who she was, he smiled at her in recognition.

“Hey, fancy seeing you again,” he said.

“Everyone is where they should be. Except one, but don’t worry Richie, he’ll find his way home, you’ll see,” River declared. Richards gave her a puzzled look and shook his head.

Suddenly, Mal’s communicator crackled into life.

Captain, we’ve got company. Looks like at least two Reaver, and an Alliance ship,” Zoe said over the comm. Mal groaned.

Aiyah. This day just gets better and better. Okay, no time for explanations, you two get moving,” he instructed, waving his gun in a shooing motion toward the two men.

“Mal?” Jayne queried.

“I want answers, Jayne. ‘sides, I’m not enough of a hundan to leave anyone to Reavers. Now come on,” he commanded and began to shepherd them away from the crash site.

As they walked, Richards got close enough to Clifford to muttered in a low voice,

“Any great ideas old man?”

“None spring to mind, nansheng, but we’re heading to Serenity, which is what we wanted. Just follow my lead,” Clifford replied.

They headed to the ship on foot as quickly as possible; luckily she was only a few hundred yards away, behind a small rise. Waiting for them in the cargo hold were Zoe and Simon, who both looked more than a little bewildered to see the return of Mathew Clifford and Ryan Richards. Zoe raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on her pistol when she realised that Mal and Jayne had guns trained on the pair.

Tsai boo shr! Were they on the shuttle? How did they survive?” Simon asked. As they came aboard, Mal quickly closed the doors. River headed straight up to the bridge as fast as she could.

“Mighty strange coincidence, running into you two again,” Zoe commented.

“No coincidence, Zoe. Simon, help Jayne escort our guests to the infirmary,” Mal instructed. Simon moved forward to help the two newcomers. “Then lock them in there.”

Simon stopped and looked at Mal.

“But all this blood…their injuries must be severe, they’ll need tending,” Simon protested. Mal was already headed up the stairs with Zoe toward the cockpit.

“No injuries, Doc. Now get them squared away. We’ll get answers once we’re away from here. Dong ma?” Mal replied, still walking. His last statement was directed at Clifford, who just nodded.

Jayne pushed Richards forward with the barrel of his gun and, with Simon, they headed to the infirmary.

“More trouble, sir?” Zoe asked as she and Mal headed to the bridge.

“Ain’t it always?”


“Well, this is another fine mess, nansheng,” Methos commented as Simon sealed them in the infirmary.

“Me?! What the hell did I do?”

“I was talking our way out of it, but your noisy revival blew any chance we had,” Methos replied testily, checking drawers and cabinets for anything useful as he spoke. Richie stared at him incredulously.

“Well excuse me for breathing. Literally,” he added with a grin. Methos stopped investigating and glared at Richie for a moment, before he smiled and shook his head.

“I sometimes forget how trouble follows you around. I swear you’re as bad as Amanda,” he said, amusement colouring his tone. When Richie chuckled, he continued. “Just remind me, if and when we get out of this fohng luh situation, to teach you how to come back quietly. Five hundred years and you haven’t even managed to learn a little discretion. Even with all the practise you’ve had.”

“Yeah, yeah, very funny. It’s not like I enjoy dying.”

“Could have fooled me, nansheng.”


“What in hell’s name you doing, Mal?” Jayne demanded as he entered the cockpit. He was gesturing towards the aft of the ship, so Mal assumed he was referring to their ‘guests’.

“River says they’re okay, I trust her. Don’t mean I trust them none. Soon as we’re safely in the black, we’re gonna have a little chat, just me, you, our guests and Vera,” Mal replied darkly. Jayne smiled expansively at the mention of his beloved gun.

“You gonna let me interrogate ‘em? Thought you didn’t hold with such behaviour?”

“Seeing as it’s not gonna do any lasting damage, I don’t see the harm. ‘Sides, that rule’s for humans. Dunno what the go se these fellas are, but they sure ain’t human.”


Mal decided he wanted Zoe in on the questioning; there were few more intimidating than his second in command when she decided to be. Then River had insisted on being present too, and Mal didn’t much feel like arguing or sedating her. Since where River went, Simon followed. Mal just gave in and the interrogation became a crew meeting in the galley.

Jayne was upset by this and sat in a corner, cradling Vera, his sulk creating an almost tangible atmosphere. The two visitors sat at one end of the table, facing the crew. They didn’t seem nervous or worried to Mal, but whatever they were, they were obviously good liars.

“Let’s start with an easy one, how ‘bout you tell us your real names,” Mal began, betting that the two had been less than honest on their first introduction.

“Richie, Richie Ryan,” admitted the younger man. The older man shot his companion a filthy look before saying,

“You can call me Mathew, it’s as good a name as any.”

Then Richie muttered something in that strange language they’d used before. Mal was about to call him on it, but River interrupted.

“No point in lies here, old man. Nobody here wants the lightning, and the truth will set everyone free,” she said in her usual cryptic way. But her words seemed to have meaning for Mathew, who muttered something under his breath and then said,

“My name is Methos.”

“That name means nothing to us, so why hide it?” Simon asked.

“When you’ve been hiding your identity for as long as I have, old habits die hard,” Methos explained.

Mal processed his words and thought about what he had seen planet-side.

“Just how long is that?” he asked, suddenly realising that these two might be able to do more than heal.

Methos sighed; it was clear that he was reluctant to talk. He looked to River, who nodded encouragement, then to Richie, who was obviously taking his lead from Methos.

“I don’t know for certain, but it’s somewhere around six thousand years.”


It took twenty minutes for the swearing and general chaos that followed Methos’ revelation to subside. That was followed by about three hours of storytelling from the two Immortals, which was constantly interrupted by the crew, before they ran out of questions. Methos wasn’t certain that the Captain was entirely satisfied, and he was certain from the glower on her face that Zoe was still sceptical.

But, despite River’s assurances, Methos wasn’t about to trust a boatload of strangers with every detail of his life history. Richie, on the other hand, seemed more than pleased to share.

“If you don’t have family, don’t have a brother, then who was at Serenity?” Mal asked.

Zoe hadn’t been paying much attention to Richie until now, but she was suddenly very interested in what he had to say.

“I was,” Richie admitted. “I was a sergeant in the 91st. Must have died about fifty times every day in that valley,” he added with a shake of his head.

Mal and Zoe seemed shocked. They obviously hadn’t expected that answer, and Zoe seemed to visibly soften toward the younger Immortal with this revelation. Inwardly, Methos smiled at this turn of events.

“Finally, that mouth of yours has done something right,” he muttered to Richie in French, causing him to grin.

“One more question,” Mal demanded, suddenly tense again. “What in tyen shiao duh kind of fei hua language is that?”

Continues in Part Nine


tyen shiao duh
– the name of all that is sacred
chiang-bao hoe-tze duh guay – monkey raping hell
go se – crap
fohng luh – crazy in the head
nansheng – schoolboy/kid/brat
fei hua – nonsense
hundan – bastard
aiyah – hell!
fractured_sun: methos 4 presidentfractured_sun on May 11th, 2009 06:02 pm (UTC)
Yay another chapter, I love this crossover.

Did they just leave Duncan for the Reavers?
But, I don't want to be a pie,: methos 2idontlikegravy on June 3rd, 2009 11:41 pm (UTC)
heh, well Methos would have had even more awkward questions if Duncan had come back too, and I think they'd have been out the nearest airlock then. Besides, I'm sure he knew the Alliance vessel would defeat any Reavers and pick up Duncan....

I'm sure he knew that... *cough* ;-)
The other Weird Al: Highlander - Richieaeron_lanart on May 11th, 2009 06:54 pm (UTC)

It's always good to see another chapter of this. The bit I really like is how it's Richie's Must have died about fifty times every day in that valley gets through to Zoe more than anything else.

I have a book of Chinese proverbs sitting on my 'fannish' book shelves alongside my Irish Dictionary, Tolstoy's Quest for Merlin and my Klingon for Intergalactic travellers...
But, I don't want to be a pie,: richie smileidontlikegravy on June 3rd, 2009 11:44 pm (UTC)

Thank you hon! They've been uncooperative buggers for months, but when they aren't it's actually fun to write this one. I already know where the next chapter is going (which makes a nice change) so hopefully it won't be so long coming!

I really ought to get some kind of dictionary - the online pinyinary is great, but is limited to phrases used in the show, sooner or later I'm going to run out!
jolinar_rosha: smug wraithjolinar_rosha on May 12th, 2009 11:37 am (UTC)
heeheehee, I can very easily picture Jayne sitting there hugging his gun and sulking at not being allowed to interrogate prisoners after all...

I assume Duncan was rescued by the Alliance ship.

and I love Mal's last comment. :-P

(damn, but I miss Wash. I can't help but try and imagine what his reaction to their 'guests' would be...)
But, I don't want to be a pie,: richie smileidontlikegravy on June 3rd, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)

You assume correctly, as shall be revealed in the next part.

I miss Wash too, and I debated writing this before the movie or making him Immortal, but strangevisitor7 has done that, and done it very well and I didn't want to complicate the plot too much so I left him in peace.
jolinar_rosha: Vala sillyjolinar_rosha on June 4th, 2009 05:45 pm (UTC)
oh oh oh, there's a story with Wash Immortal? shiny! I'm gonna go check it out, thanks for pointing it out to me!

and I'm eagerly awaiting the next part. :-)
(Deleted comment)
But, I don't want to be a pie,: methos 2idontlikegravy on June 3rd, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
beatnikspinster on May 17th, 2009 05:57 pm (UTC)
It's wonderful to see an update for this! I love that Richie's Serenity Valley tour sealed the truce. Mal's last line is hilarious.
But, I don't want to be a pie,: richie smileidontlikegravy on June 3rd, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC)

I'm very glad that works, I was worried it would seem too neat. And I love that line too, it's nice to hear that others do as well! :)