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03 December 2011 @ 06:40 pm
Torchwood crack!fic 1/1  
Continuing my consci_fan_mo tradition of crossing Torchwood with random childrens TV, for day 3 I give you this and I make no apologies:

Somewhere in the West Country

“Sir, when you suggested a daytrip to the country, I’d envisioned a nice picnic, maybe a roll in the hay…”

“Ianto Jones, that is deeply unprofessional of you,” admonished Jack, although it was somewhat lessened by the wicked grin on his face. “We are here on Torchwood business, so it is our sworn duty to investigate any and all anomalies.”

“But a walking, talking scarecrow?” Ianto asked with barely concealed disdain as he scraped what he prayed was mud from the bottom of his shoes.

“Wouldn’t be the first time. There were reports of scarecrows coming alive and killing people in 1913. That was linked to the Doctor and isn’t he our primary objective?” Jack answered as he hopped over a stile into the next field.

It was a lovely field; a typically British field with low stone walls and a gentle slope up to a large oak tree that had probably stood since time immemorial. It had been left to fallow, but still a scarecrow stood sentinel over it; a sorry looking pile of clothes and straw propped against the classic crossed wooden poles. The turnip head was amazingly lifelike though, and Ianto could quite see how people's imaginations might get carried away.

Jack approached the scarecrow, flipped open the cover of his wriststrap with a flourish and took some readings. He examined them for a moment and then gave a shrug.

“Nothing out of the ordinary here,” he said and then pulled the rucksack off his back. “Now, about that picnic...”

Ianto had pulled out a blanket and laid it with a thermos, sandwiches and dessert and the two were just settling down to eat when they heard a voice behind them;

“Any chance of a cup o’ tea and a nice slice o’ cake?”


(Yes, it’s a bit short, but to be honest my brain wanted to include Aunt Sally and her and Jack was just a place I did not want to go to!) Also, I'm ignoring them moving to New Zealand ;-p
The other Weird Al: Doctor Who -The Doctoraeron_lanart on December 3rd, 2011 10:11 pm (UTC)
LOL. Lot's of lols. Now I wish I had a Three specific icon...

I hope you continue with this great tradition for many years!
But, I don't want to be a pie,: captain my captainidontlikegravy on December 4th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you hon :)

crashtestskater: launchpad treecrashtestskater on December 4th, 2011 12:40 am (UTC)
Hee hee. Turnip head. The scarecrow from Howl's Moving Castle? I love the description of the country side. I could see it all clearly in my mind. Lovely.
But, I don't want to be a pie,: captain my captainidontlikegravy on December 4th, 2011 06:24 pm (UTC)
No, it's Worzel Gummidge, much beloved seventies/eighties kids TV show here in the UK starring Jon Pertwee.

Thank you for all your lovely comments, I'm glad you're enjoying so far!
Padawanpooh: DW3padawanpooh on December 4th, 2011 11:19 am (UTC)

You would SO not want to be getting up to funny business with Worzel around!!!
But, I don't want to be a pie,: claraidontlikegravy on December 4th, 2011 06:25 pm (UTC)

Thank you, glad you enjoyed :)
I'm a walking doodle: 03/teammad_jaks on December 4th, 2011 09:39 pm (UTC)
I was just thinking that they'd have to watch out for Aunt Sally as well, then I got to the end and saw your note :D
But, I don't want to be a pie,: happinessidontlikegravy on December 12th, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)

Yeah, I just did not want to go there!!