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18 December 2008 @ 07:23 pm
Browncoats and Scabbards Part 7/?  

I can't believe how long it's been since I updated this one! Please accept my apologies, if anyone still cares, but Methos and Richie were sulking and refused to be helpful. After much beer and the promise of no new plots until 2009, they've been placated and will hopefully be more co-operative. So, here is part 7 of Browncoats and Scabbards, the rest of which can be found here.

Big thanks to[info]strangevisitor7  for her help as beta.
Disclaimer: I don't own Highlander or Firefly, not one little bit.


Browncoats and Scabbards 7

Methos groaned in the wreckage as his bones began to knit themselves together again. The shuttle had come down hard and fast, and the debris was scattered over a field. Methos was just intensely grateful his body parts weren’t also scattered. He felt the Buzz of another Immortal and looked over to see Richie coming back to life. He winced when he saw that the younger Immortal was impaled on a stanchion that jutted out of the wreckage.

As he came back to life, Richie tried to move, and cried out in pain as the metal that was piercing his torso tore his flesh. He was being held aloft, but, with nowhere to place his feet or arms for support, he was slowly slipping down, each moment bringing fresh new agony.

 “Hang on, nansheng. My leg’s broken, but as soon as it heals I’ll come over and lift you off of that thing,” Methos said.

 “Easy for you to say, Old Timer,” Richie grunted in reply, panting slightly as he tried to reposition himself.

 “Do you want me to shoot you?” Methos asked.

 “No I do not want you to…Actually, yeah,” Richie panted in agony. ”Please, hurry.”

 Methos nodded and drew his gun. He aimed and hit Richie square in the heart, killing him. Then he scanned the wreckage for any sign of Duncan but he couldn’t see or feel the Highlander in his immediate vicinity, so he assumed that he’d been thrown clear of the shuttle on impact.

 Slowly and carefully he got to his feet, testing his newly-healed legs. Once he was certain they weren’t about to go from under him, he made his way across to Richie and began to hoist him free. It was hard going, and he only hoped that Richie wouldn’t wake up before he was clear, as his struggling would only make it harder.

 “You look like you could use some help there,” said a familiar voice behind Methos.

 Stupid, stupid, Methos chastised himself for being too engrossed in helping Richie to notice someone approaching them. With the Alliance and the Reavers after them it was ridiculously foolish. Slowly Methos turned to face the newcomers, already having some idea who it might be.

 “Hello again, Captain Reynolds, Jayne, River,” Methos said cheerfully. He was actually quite happy to see them, at least River anyway, it was just their timing could have been better.

 “You! What are you doing here?” Mal replied.

 “Oh, you know, taking in the sights of the outer Rim, being chased by Reavers. Much as I’d love to stand here chatting, would you mind helping me remove my friend’s body from there?”

“He’s dead, ain’t going anywhere anytime soon, so I want some answers. Of all parts of the verse, how come we bumped into each other again? I ain’t much of one for book smarts, but even I know that the chances of accidentally running into someone you know out here are longer’n a Reaver’s vapour trail,” Mal demanded.

 As he spoke, Jayne was stroking his gun in a manner that disquieted Methos, Immortal or not. Fortunately, Methos was spared answering Mal because, at that moment, Richie came back again with a scream of pain. Mal and Jayne both started, their weapons pointed at Richie.

 “Wang ba dan! He’s alive,” Jayne exclaimed.

 “Nice timing, nansheng,” Methos muttered, making River giggle. A smile tugged at the corner of Methos’ mouth before he became serious again and addressed Mal. “Oh please, by all means shoot. You’ll be doing him a favour.”

 “You want us to kill him? I thought he’s your friend?” Mal asked Methos. The Immortal nodded.

 “That’s right, and he’s in a huge amount of pain. I told you when we met that I’m a doctor. That wound is right through his torso, probably piercing a few major organs. It would be a mercy to shoot him. And while you’re making your mind up, he’s in agony,” Methos pointed out.

 Mal thought about his words for a moment before raising his gun and firing once at Richie’s head.

 “Jayne, help me lift his body onto the ground,” he instructed.

 “Tsai boo shr! Like you said, he ain’t going nowhere. I ain’t paid to lift dead bodies,” Jayne replied. “Matter of fact, I don’t get paid much of anything for doing anything…”

Bizui, Jayne and get over here,” Mal ordered. Jayne complied, but he continued to grumble as they lifted Richie off the stanchion and placed him on the ground.

 There was a large hole passing right through Richie’s torso, and Methos hoped it would take long enough to heal that the crew of Serenity would be long gone before he returned to life again. He watched as River moved over to Richie’s prone form and knelt beside him.

“What you up to?” Jayne asked.

 “Waiting for the lightning,” River replied with a smile.

Suddenly, Methos heard a gun being cocked and a barrel was pressed against his head.

 “Now that’s done, you mind telling me why you weren’t surprised to see us, and just how in guay you survived that crash?” Mal demanded. Methos raised his hands above his head in surrender.

“Go ahead and shoot, Captain Reynolds. If you don’t, you’ll be placing River and your whole crew in danger,” Methos said calmly. River looked at him as he said this, putting her finger to her lips in the universal gesture for silence.

 “What do you mean?”

 “I mean, it’s no coincidence we were here, Captain. We were running from the Alliance. They were after us for the bank job, but now they know that we’ve been aboard Serenity. They offered us a full pardon in return for giving them River. We declined of course, and our only option was to head to the Boondocks,” Methos lied.

 “Never heard of a planet named Boondocks, and I don’t believe the go-se coming out of your mouth,” Mal said, a scowl on his face.

 "Gou huan tang, Mal. He wants us to shoot him; then let’s shoot him and get on with what we came here for!” Jayne said, pointing his gun at Methos.

 Methos continued to stand there, with his arms still raised, waiting for Captain Reynolds to make a decision. But, true to his current run of luck, Methos felt the Buzz of another Immortal and couldn’t help letting out a groan. Either Richie had recovered, or Mac was approaching, and either one of those scenarios could only make this situation worse. He determined that the Buzz wasn’t coming from Richie, so he scanned the area in front of him. Methos was unable to see MacLeod, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t approaching from behind. He glanced over to where Richie lay and watched as River clapped in delight as the sparks of blue lightning began to heal his wounds.

 Oh great, he thought, It’s worse.

 Methos dropped into a roll, away from Mal and Jayne, bringing his own weapon out of its holster. He’d finally spotted MacLeod in his peripheral vision; MacLeod was making no effort to hide. Methos aimed and fired four times, getting the drop on the Highlander, who fell to the ground, dead. Both Mal and Jayne spun around to see what Methos had shot at before turning back to Methos, guns aimed at him.

 Methos dropped his own gun and raised his hands once more. Hands above his head, he used one finger to point to Duncan’s body.

 “Alliance,” he offered in explanation.

 Mal walked in the direction Methos indicated while Jayne continued to point his gun at the oldest Immortal. Methos was beginning to get tired of this farce; he’d have to remember to maim Richie later for getting them into this mess. He watched as Mal kneeled down and examined Duncan’s body before coming back to where the rest stood.

 “He’s wearing civilian clothing,” Mal commented.

 “Well, obviously. He was sent to track me and the boy. He’d stick out like a sore thumb if he were in uniform. He’s been following us the last three worlds we stopped on,” Methos explained, his tone more patient than he was feeling. He needed the crew of Serenity to leave quickly, or Richie would be creating more awkward questions.

 “That don’t explain how you knew he was there.”

“I heard footsteps. Having just been attacked by Reavers, and then ambushed by you, I was more than a little jumpy, dong ma? And there was no time to argue with you, Captain Reynolds. What if it had been a Reaver?” Methos added. Mal conceded the point and lowered his weapon a fraction.

 This is taking too long, Methos thought, If Richie recovers, and doesn’t have the sense to do it quietly… He spared another glance at Richie and River, but he was too far away to tell if the younger Immortal’s wounds had healed or not.

 “It’s a good point, Doctor Clifford. But I still have questions need answering, so why don’t you come along with us? We’ll bring your friend, give him a burial on a safer world,” Mal said. Although he sounded congenial enough, Methos heard the threat of what would happen if he didn’t go with them.

 For the second time in an hour, Richie’s resurrection prevented Methos answering Mal’s question, as the younger Immortal sat up with a sharp and noisy intake of breath.

 “Aiyah,” Methos muttered under his breath.

 “Tyen shiao duh!” Mal exclaimed as both he and Jayne turned their weapons toward Richie.

 “Chiang-bao hoe-tze duh guay! He was dead,” Jayne said before turning to Mal for confirmation, “He was dead, Mal.”

 “I know, Jayne. And more importantly, I think he knew,” Mal said, turning his gun back on Methos. “It was no luck you survived that crash. What in hell are you?

Continues in Part Eight


Nansheng – schoolboy/kid/brat

Tsai boo shr – no way!

Wang ba dan – SOB

Guay – hell

Gou huan tang – enough of this nonsense

Go-se – crap

Dong ma – understand

Tyen shiao duh – name of all that’s sacred

Chiang-bao hoe-tze duh guay – monkey raping hell

Aiyah - hell

Ith: Methos - Gunithildyn on December 18th, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
Richie's death timing is just awful [g]
But, I don't want to be a pie,: pretty boyidontlikegravy on December 19th, 2008 10:46 pm (UTC)

Yup, after 500 years, he's still a pain in the ass! *g*
vegmbvegmb on December 18th, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC)
I hate it when the boys sulk. Hopefully they will be more cooperative after the new year!
But, I don't want to be a pie,: writingidontlikegravy on December 19th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
*crosses fingers*

I think they didn't like it when Amanda and Nick moved in, but I think it's back to business as usual. After all, a 5000 yr old sulking like a child is just plain silly. ;-)
kateri_e: lego teroristkateri_e on December 18th, 2008 10:54 pm (UTC)
OMG! A new chapter!
Fantastic, I so love it when ever Methos gets to shoot a fellow immortal
But, I don't want to be a pie,: richie and jackidontlikegravy on December 19th, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
I seem to be developing an S&M streak to the Methos and Richie relationship lately, he keeps wanting to maim/shoot/perform surgery on the poor boy! What this says about me, is nobody's business *eg*
(Deleted comment)
But, I don't want to be a pie,: richie and jackidontlikegravy on December 19th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I hope so too. Next two weeks are going to be a bit mad as I work in retail, but hopefully in January I'll be able to focus on this properly. :)
I will call her George: Richie swordstrangevisitor7 on December 22nd, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
Why is it we adore Richie but continue to torture him in everything we write. great addition to the story!!

But, I don't want to be a pie,: richie bikeidontlikegravy on December 22nd, 2008 10:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks hun :)

I'm not sure where this violence comes from! I'm developing a nasty sadistic streak of late. Maybe it's cos I want to hug him and make him feeling better? ;-p
I will call her George: Richie  - troublemakersstrangevisitor7 on December 22nd, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
It's not just you - I had Gibbs shoot him too.
That's right no comfort without the hurt. LOL
But, I don't want to be a pie,: snowidontlikegravy on December 22nd, 2008 10:18 pm (UTC)
The other Weird Al: Highlander - Methos solves a problemaeron_lanart on December 22nd, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC)
Typical Richie! And I bet Methos took just al ittle too much pleasure in shooting Duncan.

Glad to see another chapter.
But, I don't want to be a pie,: painty methosidontlikegravy on December 22nd, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
Oh you know he did!

I can't believe this is only the 3rd chapter this year *hangs head in shame* but the boys have sworn to be better behaved from now on, so fingers crossed there'll be more shortly.

Now, how the hell do I get them out of this mess...?
The other Weird Alaeron_lanart on December 22nd, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
Bribe everyone with beer/chocolate/things that go boom?
But, I don't want to be a pie,: naked nickidontlikegravy on December 22nd, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
charlie_jae on December 27th, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
I found this in one of the crossover comms. I decided to give it ago, and found I very much enjoyed it. I do hope there is more real soon.
But, I don't want to be a pie,: richie and jackidontlikegravy on January 3rd, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you, and welcome to the insanity! Yes, more is coming, and I hope soon. Just need to update a few neglected WIPs *flicks away new plot bunnies*.
beatnikspinster on February 11th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
I'm loving this story so much! Poor Methos, saddled with the explanations. I'm so looking forward to that! I love the image of River clapping over the lightning.
But, I don't want to be a pie,: headdeskidontlikegravy on May 17th, 2009 05:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, and I'm so sorry I didn't spot this comment earlier! Part eight is now up. :)
ophite68ophite68 on May 14th, 2009 07:52 pm (UTC)
Ack! Can't wait for more, I love this story.
But, I don't want to be a pie,: pleased hamsteridontlikegravy on May 17th, 2009 05:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! Part Eight is now up. :)